in this life
it's been forever since i last wrote. anyways, today was alright, we got a one hour delay at school, and i got some great extra sleep. i've found a new song that is now my favorite song. it's called "two is better than one" by boys like girls, featuring taylor swift. it's beautiful, and if you haven't heard it yet, i would strongly suggest looking it up. (:
anyways, if you've ever had a milk chocolate dove candy, you'd know that they say sweet things inside. i always get the big bag of them and read them for encouragement. today, i got a wrapper that really made my day. the quote on the wrapper said, "remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect." this quote really changed me, because i constantly worry about being "good enough" for everyone. being a younger sibling is not easy, i know from experience. especially if your older sister was captain of the basketball, tennis, and softball teams, a member of all the clubs, an honor student, attended prom in eighth, ninth, eleventh, and twelfth grade, and even another prom in south carolina her senior year, homecoming queen, and the prettiest girl at the school. once she left, everyone looked to me like i was supposed to be a spitting image of her. sadly, i am no jessica bolton, and for the longest time, this bothered me every single day. getting called "jessica bolton's little sister" and "little bolton" finally wore off, and i'm in my junior year of high school. i have only been to one prom, and that was with a friend at a different school for his prom. i'm not as pretty as my sister, but i'm starting to resemble her more and more. i'm not an honor student, but i try hard in school. i just got on homecoming court for the first time this year, and i can only be voted queen my senior year, so that has yet to come. i've always done my best to measure up to my sister, and satisfy the rest of ridgecroft high school. but today, when i got that wrapper, it was like a slap in the face.
God didn't put me here to be just like my sister. she's all those wonderful things, but she's not perfect. for the longest time i had made her seem perfect in my eyes because i wanted to be just like her. no one is perfect but Jesus Christ, and i need not compare myself to anyone, because God made me to be me, not someone else. i'm slowly becoming more confident with myself, and i will soon be satisfied enough to be comfortable. i need to learn that everyone has someone they wish they could be like, and in the end, we'll never, ever be that person, so we need to accept it for what it is and be happy with who we are. short, tall, thick, thin, black or white. we're all unique and we're all wonderful creatures in God's eyes. my momma always told me, "don't be so down on yourself, 'cause God don't make no junk." that quote will always stick out to me, because i know that God didn't put me here to hate myself, but to make the best of my many blessings and embrace joys in this life i live. when i'm rattling all the things that are wrong with me, my mom points out, "when you say what you're dissatisfied with, you're pretty much spitting in God's face, because you're telling him he didn't do a good enough job on making you." God made us all in his vision, and we're all beautiful in his eyes. the next step is to be beautiful in our own eyes, and then we will be beautiful in the eyes of others.
QUOTE OF THE DAY// "It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes." -Sally Field
